WhatisNews?

Cable Switched Off

I'm pleased to see that jumped-up pub rockers The Stereophonics have binned their ghastly drummer Stuart Cable.

The Stereophonics are, of course, one of the worst bands on the planet, following a great tradition of Welsh musical mediocrity established by acts such as The Alarm, The Manic Street Preachers, Shakin' Stevens etc. etc.

Cable got the sack not because his absurd perm was deemed completely unacceptable (even though it is) but because he wasn't turning up for any gigs. (Surely "play at gigs" is fairly high on any drummer's job description?)

Instead he was making a chat show called Cable TV (geddit?)

I was also gratified to note that Mr Cable's dismissal has led to him making it onto this thought-provoking site.

News from the Courts

A group of impoverished Saudi businessmen are suing for libel in London over separate allegations that they are linked to Osama Bin Laden. Some of the allegations weren't even published in British newspapers, but London is now the defamation capital of the world, due in no small part to the fact that the judges here are seen to be "claimant-friendly" (a fact all too familiar to British journalists). The Saudis are following the trend-setting example set by those cuddly Russian oligarchs who made London their litigation location of choice in the mid-1990s.

Booker Book

Congratulations to DBC Pierre, the winner of the 2003 Booker Prize. The £50k cheque goes to the best novel by a Commonwealth citizen every year (no Yanks allowed, thank you very much). Pierre's novel Vernon God Little is the first time a debut has won the prize since The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy in 1997. I'm glad Mr Pierre won this year 'cos he seems quite a colourful character: a reformed cocaine addict who sold a friend's flat without telling him, to pay for his stash. (By the way, if anybody knows how to sell somebody else's flat without them finding out, can you drop me a line...?) "DBC" stands for "Dirty But Clean" - a reference to the fact that Pierre (real name: Peter Finlay) is now on the straight and narrow and plans to refund his friend for the missing flat. Aaaah. Isn't that nice?

Who got my Guide?

I spent all day yesterday filming. I haven't seen any news or read any papers for about three days. What's going on? Bought the Saturday Guardian in the Spar (the woman behind the counter looked at me as though I was from Ursula Minor) but when I got home I realised the Guide bit was missing and haven't picked the paper up in protest since. Not even the Review bit. I hate it when there's a bit missing from a paper. It's always the bit I want. Why is the Appointments section never missing from The Sunday Times? In Chennai the monthly Sunday magazine section of The Hindu never got delivered to me for some reason. Nobody could ever explain why. (I think the gardener used to eat it.) And then I had to sit and listen to my friend Jim tell me how interesting it was for the next four weeks.

Good Evening and...

Welcome to WhatisNews? a weblog that's primarily designed for those of you I used to shout at in Russia and India. You know how terrible I am at replying to emails... so, hopefully this is a way of keeping in touch. You can discreetly keep an eye on my activities and even comment on what I have to say.

Or you can just let me know how you are...

I'll be keeping an eye open for stories that might interest you, wherever they come from. And probably ranting about what ever happens to be bugging me at the moment. I'll also fill you in a bit on what's happening in my life. (Don't get too excited...)

Who knows, maybe some other poor lost souls will wander in here as well. If so, welcome. Please feel free to add your comments.

Here goes...