How spoilt for choice am I with tonight's TV? Not. Surprisingly, I won't be tuning into "Ultimate Combat Helicopters" on Channel Five. Over on ITV1 it's the final of Celebrity, but all the interesting people are already out. And I simply refuse to watch Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen mutilate somebody else's bedroom.
That ceiling would do with another coat of rouge.
No, the only thing worth watching tonight is a documentary on BBC4 about Russia's greatest computer export - Tetris. I'm terrible at computer games, but I like playing Tetris, provided the speed is set to "baboushka." Any faster and I start to go what John Lydon would call lentil mental.
Tetris was invented in 1985 by a computer head called Alexey Pajitnov (who now works for Microsoft's games division.) It's widely considered to be one of the most addictive games ever (one man even went to jail because he refused to stop playing it on an aircraft.) It's also one of the hardest to master (although there is, apparently, a simplified version called Bushtris where all the pieces are squares.)
Tetris - slow down!
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